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It’s that time of year again when it’s hot as balls outside every single day with no relief in sight.  And that means it’s the time of year for the latest Gathering of the Juggalos commercial.

Most years, that last sentence would be punctuated by an exclamation point to show all of my pent up excitement about finally being able to once again mock the miscreants who attend this thing.  But I just watched this year’s infomercial and I have to admit I feel let down – like waking up early on Christmas  morning only to find out your house was robbed in the night and all your presents were snatched up.

Past infomercials succeeded because, in spite of all the moronic drivel and fake wigger garbage these Juggalo cronies would spout, they at the very least seemed to be enjoying themselves, projecting enthusiasm and generally giving the impression that they too were in on the joke – especially lil’ Sugar Slam.

Alas, this year, it would appear as if all will to live has abandoned these pitchmen and women.  I could always count on Sugar Slam to give 110% to delivering her lines, but even she seems like she’d rather be anywhere else.  If she can’t even rile up her fake enthusiasm, what hope do the rest of us have?

A great comedic opportunity has gone to waste.  I just hope this doesn’t deter Saturday Night Live from releasing another spoof when they finally start up a new season.  We must never forget Ass Dan

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Actually, now that I look back, I wasn’t impressed with last year’s video either.  But this year’s is even worse.

-Sam

I came across this picture while randomly perusing google images, and I just had to share it with you guys.

Now, in my mind, one of two things is happening here.

I imagine they may be having the follow conversation:

Troy: Hey kid, about that weed in your backpack…you’re gonna share it with us right? Right?  Don’t make me keep tickling you…

Brann: What the fuck!?  I thought reaching rock star status was supposed to land you pussy not pudgies!!

Or…Troy is distracting this poor kid because Brann just farted in his hand and is about to deliver a mean cup o’ cheese.

Weigh in with your own captions and scenarios.

-Sam

I can’t be the only one who missed out on the “Pop Culture” song by some kid named Madeon that came out last year and spawned a viral dance video, can I?

Actually, given the fact that the original performance video has garnered close to 12 million (!) hits and the subsequent dance video has racked up another sweet 3.5 milli, maybe I am the loser who is late to the party.

But it’s OK because the Video Yearbook Club at Walt Whitman High School in Huntington Station, New York has my back.  They are bringing this song back to the forefront with an incredibly spot-on recreation of the original video (posted below).  I must say that I saw the high schoolers’ version of this before I even knew who or what a Madeon was, and then I followed that up by watching the original.  And damn it if the high schoolers aren’t just as good, if not better.  Way to go guys!

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-Sam

Kate Upton and Big Baby now have challengers for the best Dougie instructors and they hail from the Far East.

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-Sam

Conan has taken his show to Chicago this week, and how better to celebrate than diving into some blues music…with some first graders.

-Sam

is while watching this…

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Because let’s be honest, hot babes in the sun (repping the best team in football!) are the only thing that can redeem such a shitty shitty shitty song.

After the jump, watch Barack Obama try out his famed singing skills on this detestable tune:

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Oh Nololo!

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Author: Sam

Remember that scene in Fight Club where Edward Norton is freaking out and trying to reconcile what he’s become as he’s standing over the dead body of Meat Loaf?  Then one of the shaved headed goons offers the following contrived wisdom: “I understand.  In death, a member of Project Mayhem has a name.  His name is Robert Paulson.”  And then they all unflinchingly join in chanting “His name is Robert Paulson,” like so many beautiful, unique snowflakes.

That scene came to mind today when I learned that internet-famous Mr. Trololo had died.  You know, this guy:

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Well, I suppose only in death, do internet memes have a real name.  His name was Eduard Khil.  I hope you’re tro-lo-lo-ing in a better place now, sir.

After the jump, I included the clip from the time he was spoofed on Family Guy, as well as a completely unrelated video I found while watching all of this delicious nonsense.

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You’re gonna love your time spent listening to this cover.  See what I did there?  Just watch the video – you will.

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-Sam

This guy is so completely off his rocker:

Here’s the excuse he later provided, courtesy of Blabbermouth:

He then turned to a female producer off camera and added, “Or I’ll fuck you. How’s that sound?”

According to Glor, Nugent‘s wife told the rocker after the interview to apologize to the female producer, which Ted did. Later Nugent called Glor to say he was rushed to the emergency room after their interview to have a kidney stone removed, which, Glor says, may have contributed to Ted‘s anxiety.

-Sam